Somber day. Reflective. Life, at every stage, is temporary; delicate, like a piece of rice paper.
It occurred to me a few days ago, as I viewed an alarming news report on two every day folk who (unbeknownst to them) ate tainted cucumbers this past week and consequently died, that it doesn't have to be terrorists invading our airways taking down our beloveds; it can be as innocuous as eating cucumbers, that can abruptly and tragically end someone's story.
We just don't know.
Our minutes, days and weeks are precious, fleeting.
Yet I've...
been struggling a lot since we got home from our grand trip abroad. Not sure what to do with myself. What chapter will be next in my own story?
This is not new to me; I wake up every morning looking for meaning and purpose, yet I flounder. My kids help give some form to my days, but they are juniors in high school now, and most often I find them with their heads buried in some textbook. I cannot do their homework for them, so I place sliced fruit next to their laptops and remind myself, they are working on chapters of their own, and leave them to their studies.
Often, I find myself wander to the television and turn on a recorded episode of "Fraiser". Never watched that series the first time around (was raising babies and building a business), but I did visit the set from time to time. Kelsey was always friendly, and when I didn't have my kids with me, he would ask to see a recent photo. Such a cool guy.
I'm sure he doesn't remember me now, but he knew me then. I adored him.
Found myself folding laundry last night when I heard his voice as the character, "Frasier", on the tv. I glanced over at the screen and saw he was alone in his Seattle apartment, at his piano, tickling the ivories and singing in his familiar beautiful welcoming way. It was right then that I flashed back in my mind to one late afternoon when I worked on "Cheers"
The cast had mostly gone. There were still a few crew members down on the stage, and it was my job to see who was still hanging around; needed to hand the actors next week's script if I could (to save on courier charges). I went upstairs (behind the stage) and found it quiet. Decided to check down at Kelsey and Bebe's offices at the far end of the building--and that is when I heard Kelsey.
He was playing something beautiful on the piano in his office. And singing. He was alone.
I only stood a moment. His door was cracked open, and he glanced back, nodding an acknowledgement when I slipped his script just inside the door, and kept on singing. I'm sure he never gave it another though, but for me? It is a lovely memory I hope I never forget.
Thought of this again today, on 9/11, as I was contemplating the frailty of life.
So much of what we do is maintenance: buying groceries, washing dishes, taking showers, getting gasoline--and work too. While it is true, we all need to maintain our lifestyles and find ways and means to do so, it does not have to be drudgery.
You know that quote: "Do what your love and you will never work a day in your life?" There really is something to that. You will still work, but the payoff is grand when you dig what you do; when you are a part of something that makes you proud!
Shortly after I was hired on "Cheers", my boss David took out a file folder from his desk drawer about four inches thick, STACKED with resumes, "These are the people you beat out for this job." I was dumbfounded. It really does pay who you know, but I never forgot that.
If you are one of my younger friends and you still have decades of your life in front of you? Or, if you find yourself where I am, starting again? Remember, so much of life is about you getting to choose what you will do. Some stuff is non-negotiable, and you may not make a lot of money, but I gotta say, the best memories I have come from the years I spent working in Hollywood doing the maintenance kinda stuff--and I started at $5 an hour!
Seems like at twenty you have forever to live your dreams, but sometimes...
Told my sixteen year old daughter recently, take some of your present time and make memories that will last your lifetime.
Do the fun stuff, before the other takes over.
Make choices that YOU find interesting, and I promise you will not regret it. It does not matter if you believe you cannot do it, try anyway! Just do it! The universe will help you in your endeavors.
TRUST ME. TRUST YOURSELF.
Show people who you are, not who you think they think you are.
That other quote: "We only regret the things we did NOT do"-- yeah, that one is often true too. Our passions will direct us; just have to get out of the ways once in awhile, and let them drive.
Make memories that will connect you to the world you long to be a part of. So one day, you can be folding laundry, and look back with a smile and say, "Yeah, I was a part of that!"
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