What an absolutely-perfectly-peaceful day-- for those of us who don't watch football, that is!
Our neighborhood streets were lined with cars as we drove out of Ladera. Noticed banners strung in front of homes advertising: "Bill's Super Bowl Party Here!" Main streets, freeways, restaurants, and stores were all empty. Normally, it takes me fifteen minutes to get to the freeway; today it took me five. Popped into our nail salon too, and the employees were painting each other's toes! So nice to walk in and be served immediately. Made the overall experience relaxing, more enjoyable.
Took my kids and Joe the Yorky, out to Lazy Dog for lunch. Sat outside in the summer like winter weather and just chilled. Noticed right off, the energy around us was similar to when I was their age, living in Anaheim. Streets were calm, the world was quiet, and there was no wait to be seated at a restaurant. That common tug and pull of every day life, was absent. Instead, a serenity to the day was present, so completely different from what we've become accustomed to, behind this hectic Orange curtain we inhabit. I could not help but stop and take notice.
With a deep sigh, I realized: I want that back. I want my kids to have that.
Truly, I have not had such an enjoyable two hours in a long time. We all felt at peace. And the direction the conversation went in was not lost on me... while we lingered over our lunch, my children began to talk about the things they appreciated in their lives, specifically academically.
Not sure how the topic came up, but before I knew it, they were listing every project, paper and group assignment they had ever completed--commenting on the levels of difficulty and challenge--and the best part? They both agreed: it felt awesome to acknowledge they did all that, and they did it well! Lauren even giggled.
Both remarked on their favorite teachers and why--which was hard to narrow down because they sincerely cared for each and every one. What astounded me? The favs were the teachers that challenged them the most! It was evident, even back then, their instructors required a lot, but always had their backs. Each had an invested interest in my children's success.What better combination?
I know I've said it before, but my kids LOVED their elementary and junior high. LOVED IT! Drove past the site where the modular buildings used to be today and Niko said, "It's just wrong." We all miss it. Stoneybrooke was tough but a wonderful place to leave my heart every morning. I used to say at drop off, "Love you. Now go learn something!" Our principal heard me one time, and chuckled.
Niko wasted no time reminding me school was tough, but his mom was even tougher, "Remember when you would edit our papers and say, 'Is this your best effort?' And we'd have to do it over and over again?" He groaned, reliving how grueling the process was. But guess what? It was my turn to remind him, "By 9th grade, that research paper it took many others five weeks, to do? You sat down and punched it out in five hours the night before it was due! AND, you earned a 97 on it!
Writing comes naturally for my kids now, but I kept setting them straight every time they began to wander off track, or get fuzzy with their thoughts. I am confident my efforts made a difference. That is what we are commanded to do, in all matters of life, with our offspring: we are entrusted to guide them, not make it easy; walk that tightrope carefully, and hope we all don't slip and land hard.
Because thinking clearly, is clearly important.
I attempted to be present and aware in every way I thought was time worthy, but I fell short on many things (wish I could have excelled at math, but numbers are not my thing). Aw well, we can't cover it all can we? We can try though. Even though I was saddled with a poor math brain, I am certain letters are my thing, my joy, my passion and I wanted my little ones to see that.
I write. And now my children write as well. At least that is something...
In the fourth grade, Lauren's teacher (she adored) called my girl, her "Writer girl". In the seventh grade, Niko's teacher told him "You ARE a writer." When he said, "Thank you, but nah, I don't want to be a writer" She said, "You should reconsider! " Writing is so much a part of society now; critical thinking is the focus in academia, an effort vital for survival in today's professional world too.
Writing often, aids in strengthening that muscle.
Expressing ourselves out loud is hard enough. Terrifying, even. That, they have to come to terms with on their own. With pen and paper? This mother did not want her students to be afraid of that.
That was my gift.
By the 9th grade, my son said, "Stoneybrooke was so hard, freshman year at Crean was ridiculously easy." I said, "That is the point. You work diligently early on, you push yourself, you discover you can do things you had no idea you could accomplish, so later on in life, things will be easier."
They are getting it. My children are becoming adults.
My only regret?
Wish we had slowed down a bit. Ran too much. Spent too much time in the car. Life was school, sports, dinner and homework. Repeat. Too much. Too much. Too much. I thought, because we could do it, we should do it. So much opportunity in the OC, if we don't take advantage...
We were wrong.
Our busy bees racked up the honors but they also grew tired, and the grumpies came, a lot.
I asked them today if they had any regrets? The girl said no, not really, but I am glad we've slowed down now. The boy, "I wish we hadn't been going all the time, but it's cool knowing we did all that." He's proud of his accomplishments. I'm relieved.
I think the big take away from today was...
We tend to forget about the positives in our world when we get greedy with our hours, days, weeks and years. Feels like the choices we make begin to control us, instead of us being in charge. It becomes difficult to see the blessings before us, when our eyes are blurry from lack of sleep. I see now, we should have set some of that "busy" aside, and we should have done absolutely nothing. It is helpful when we feel the world around us is at peace as well. But we cannot control the world. Truly, we can only control the environment at home--oh well, except on Super Bowl Sunday! :-)
So, my advice? Take some time and plan nothing. Before or after the nothingness? Let it be.
Don't time it, either. Because, "Okay, you have two hours until we have to go the BBQ (or your sisters soccer game, or your brother's volleyball match)" is not really down time. The non-activity is still being clocked. Sometimes we need to NOT KNOW what we are doing after lunch.
We just need to enjoy our lunch. :-)
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